


Repose #3: The Stillness of a Sun-Soaked Afternoon

by farad



Series: Repose Tetrarch [3]
Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 21:12:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16183283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/farad/pseuds/farad
Summary: For Boogie's prompt: "I love me some Chris and Buck moments, slash or gen, your choice. " This is the third of the stories from prompts that I cajoled over my Spring Break, and hopefully it won't take me so long to complete any others that I solicit or the other in  this one!





	Repose #3: The Stillness of a Sun-Soaked Afternoon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [boogieshoes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boogieshoes/gifts).



 

It was over.

 

 

 

Finally.

 

 

 

Ezra leaned back against his saddle, watching Chris and Buck in the light of the large campfire. They had ridden hard for the past four hours, since the shoot out at the Cajara Viella estate. Not that it had been intended as a shoot-out; it was supposed to be a duel, in which Chris Larabee challenged Octavio Cajara Viella for possession of his ‘wife’, Elena – or, as they knew her, Ella.

 

 

 

Ella Gaines.

 

 

 

It had helped that Chris had had the letter from her – and the daguerreotype of the two of them – in which she had declared their marriage.

 

 

 

No, it was supposed to be a duel, and in the end between the two men. The odds on that had been bad enough; it had been less than three months since Chris had been shot in the chest by ‘Handsome Jack’ Avril, leader of a group of hired gunmen, who Ella Gaines had hired in an elaborate ruse to draw Chris to her side and into an idealized life. The plan had almost worked.

 

 

 

Despite the best efforts of both Buck and Vin who had come to doubt the woman’s authenticity. As his dear mother often said, if it looks too good to be true, it is.

 

 

 

But as his dear mother also said after, fortunately, people want to believe in things that are too good to be true.

 

 

 

He had almost let himself fall into that trap himself, in the months before the Ella Gaines Affair. He had almost let himself get comfortable with these men, in this place.

 

 

 

With one man, in particular.

 

 

 

“They’ll be along soon,” Buck said, reaching out to prod the fire. “Vin ain’t gonna let nothing happen to Josiah.”

 

 

 

It was true, of course, though Ezra suspected that Buck wasn’t fully aware of the depths of Vin’s affections for Josiah. Not that Vin had said anything to him, but Ezra knew enough about the ways of affections – of love – to see the truth of it between these two.

 

 

 

Chris nodded, his hair, bleached almost white by his many days sitting in the chair on the boardwalk, caught the firelight and Ezra thought of cloth of gold, his favorite fabric.

 

 

 

“Wish they’d left with us,” Chris said. “Don’t like the idea of them being there, where the Don can find them.”

 

 

 

“Reckon the Don’s got other things on his mind, like taking care of his son. And truth be told, it didn’t seem to me that he was overly upset about the accidental death of his son’s new wife.” He drew out the word ‘accidental’. It had been anything but.

 

 

 

Ezra snorted despite himself, then, when he felt their attention directed at him, he said, “From what I gathered while entertaining the Don’s associates, the Don might well have paid you to do what you did.”

 

 

 

Chris arched one of his fine eyebrows and said, “Did he pay you instead?”

 

 

 

Ezra blinked, and for a few seconds, he thought about being insulted.

 

 

 

But this was Chris, and despite himself, he couldn’t dredge up the irritation. Not now. The man was just beginning to come back to himself, or at least to the man they had known before the whole Ella Gaines Affair.

 

 

 

For a few minutes at a time, as they plotted out how to get to her, as they learned the scope of her ambition, the way she had contrived to save herself, Chris had actually seemed to lose himself in the process of planning his revenge. He’d almost enjoyed the challenge of it, finding a way to get to her, using her own scheme.

 

 

 

Ezra had to admit, it had been a con of such complexity that he’d been proud to be a part of it. At times, he’d found that Chris was looking to him, asking him for his insights into human nature – into how to make this work.

 

 

 

And it had affected him in ways that he tried to ignore.

 

 

 

Perhaps that was why now, the fire between them, the memory of the way this whole plan had worked – and succeeded – he couldn’t find the anger to rebuff the other man. “I did not,” he said quietly. “While I admit that the instinct was there, this was not a situation in which I felt the desire to benefit. When it was all said and done – is all said and done – the consequences were only for one person. I did not think it fit to allow there to be any other interpretation.”

 

 

 

Chris’ eyes widened, and Ezra did not doubt his surprise. What was more edifying, though, was the slight flush that darkened the skin of his throat and cheeks as the words sunk in.

 

 

 

It was, though, Buck who gave voice to the reaction to Ezra’s confession. “Is that you, Ezra? Are you in there – what the hell? Are you feeling all right, hoss?”

 

 

 

“I assure you, Mr. Wilmington, that it was in our best interests at the time to make certain that this particular situation had no other interpretation or benefit. We all owed that woman retribution for the things she did to Chris, but also what she did to all of us. Now, perhaps, we will all be able to put that demon behind us and start anew, with no questions of culpability.”

 

 

 

Once more he felt the other two staring at him but it was edifying that they were silent – Buck, particularly. Taking advantage of the quiet, he drew his hat over his eyes and said, “Now, if you will excuse me, I shall take advantage of our wait to recover from the day.”

 

 

 

He didn’t actually fall asleep, though he did drowse for a time, the time that it took the other two to return to conversation – or, more to the point, for Buck to resume his persistent chatter. To be fair, Ezra found that over the past months, in the aftermath of the Ella Gaines Affair, he had come to miss that chatter, not just because Buck amused him and often dropped in nuggets of information about the town and its people that were useful to someone with Ezra’s skills, but also because of the effect it had on Chris: for all his silence and seeming lack of humor, Chris was often as amused by Buck as Ezra himself was. To see Chris grin as he made fun of some tale of Buck’s was often the highlight of Ezra’s day.

 

 

 

These last months, Ezra’s days had been dark, indeed, and his awareness of that, or, more to the point, his acknowledgment of the cause of it was one of his current biggest problems: he was in love with Chris Larabee.

 

 

 

He had come to the realization slowly, because he tried to avoid his feelings whenever possible. They were dangerous things that usually undermined his plans. They had manifest first in jealousy, of course: a jealousy of the ease with which Chris and Vin became friends, close friends, and friends in silence – a bond between them that didn’t need words. Ezra had been certain that it was a romantic relationship until he had observed what Vin Tanner in love was actually like.

 

 

 

It had been – unexpected.

 

 

 

In truth, it had been a shock -not so much to the ‘love’ aspect as the discovery that it was not with Chris Larabee.

 

 

 

For a time – perhaps a week – Ezra had actually been offended for Chris. The image in his head that had tied the two of them together had made the assumption – for no reason that he could fathom in the aftermath – that Chris had been as invested in Vin as Ezra assumed Vin was invested in him.

 

 

 

After all – who would not want Chris Larabee?

 

 

 

But as he accepted and considered the situation, he realized that his assumptions were only partly correct – and, truth be told, he wasn’t sure that was the case. There was, unquestionably, something between Chris and Vin, something that defied categorization.

 

 

 

At the same time, though, Chris had been married and had a child – and he was still grieving for them. So perhaps the relationship with Vin as not sexual, and now that Vin was consorting with Josiah, that seemed more the case.

 

 

 

But that also meant that Chris would have no interest in Ezra other than the platonic.

 

 

 

It really was a snare of sorts.

 

 

 

“Gonna be a change,” Buck said quietly. “I mean, for you. Now that you’ve found out who did it and why and ended it all. I thought that after Hank came, and we thought he knew who had killed Sara and why. I thought then that you were angry that he’d done it, gotten the vengeance you were looking for. We know now he was wrong – well, he was out of his head – but you’ve done it now, found their killers. So what are you gonna do next?”

 

 

 

Ezra’s breath caught – but only until he realized it. He let it back out slowly, hoping that the two other men hadn’t noticed. This was a question he’d been trying to find a way to ask – though he knew that he’d never get an honest answer.

 

 

 

Not the way that Buck would.

 

 

 

He heard Chris draw in a deep breath and then let it out slowly. He knew that sound, knew it from the myriad numbers of times he’d elicited it from Chris.

 

 

 

But this wasn’t a sound of anger. This was a sound that suggested Chris was actually considering the possible answers.

 

 

 

That he was going to consider an honest answer.

 

 

 

Ezra knew he would owe the gods of fortune quite a due, but he would gladly pay it. To be here, in this place, as a fly on the wall, to gain the insight and benefit of conversation between these two close friends . . .

 

 

 

A bird cry sounded – not loud, but startling in the quiet. Despite himself, Ezra jerked, and as he did, he heard the unmistakable sound of two guns being drawn and cocked.

 

 

 

Then, softly, “Vin coming in.”

 

 

 

Ezra cursed the man – the men. All of them. Vin and Josiah’s arrival ended the moment, leaving Chris and Buck to abbreviate the conversation Ezra had hoped to hear.

 

 

 

Though Josiah wasn’t with Vin, a fact that annoyed Vin as well as Chris.

 

 

 

“He what?” Chris said once Vin was off his horse and leaning over the fire, pouring coffee into a tin mug.

 

 

 

“He thinks he needs to stay for a while, help the folk get settled after this.” He closed his eyes as he blew across the surface of the hot liquid, and Ezra could see that, despite the shadows cast by the firelight, Vin was tired.

 

 

 

“What is ‘after this’?” Buck asked, his tone sharp. “Surely them folk are as glad to get rid of that woman as the rest of us are. Didn’t Josiah say that many of them thought she was a witch?”

 

 

 

“Ain’t her,” Vin said, his eyes still closed, though he had swallowed a sip of the brew. “It’s all the others. That boy was right popular in the town, ‘nough so that they think she b’witched him.”

 

 

 

“How he is?” Chris asked, his voice low.

 

 

 

“Ain’t sure,” Vin answered. “Don’t think he’s dead, but ain’t sure he’s alive. Reckon that’s what J’siah’s waiting to hear. I’ll head back shortly, let you three get on the road. We’ll be along as soon as I can pull him away.”

 

 

 

Chris responded predictably. “You can’t – you were at the estate, they’re looking for you -”

 

 

 

“They know I was there with Father Jose but they think I’m too stupid to be a threat. In fact, it’ll look worse for J’siah if I’m not there.” He finally opened his eyes and drank down most of the cup of coffee. As he swallowed, he rose to his feet and looked at Chris. “We’ll be okay. Father Jose has done a lot for the people there, and they’ll take care of him and his idiot helper.” He grinned, his teeth flashing in the fire light. “Reckon we’ll let things settle down a spell then be along.”

 

 

 

“I don’t like it,” Chris said, glaring at Vin.

 

 

 

As ever, it had no effect whatsoever on the other man, who shrugged. “Can’t say I’m right pleased about it, but don’t aim to leave him there on his own. Need to get back now, in case they decide to visit in the middle of the night.” He looked up through the tree limbs to the night sky, seeing things that only Vin Tanner could see. “Take me about three hours to get back – so I’d best be at it.” He threw the remains of his coffee to one side then reached out toward Chris, extending the empty cup.

 

 

 

Chris still glared at him, but after a few seconds, he took the cup and snarled, “Don’t get killed.”

 

 

 

Vin grinned, another flash of teeth in the firelight. “Don’t aim to,” he said. “Be back in a few weeks. Y’all get on back soon as you can, let this dust settle.”

 

 

 

Ezra watched Chris as both Chris and Buck turned to watch Vin go.

 

 

 

“Boy ain’t got a lick of sense,” Buck said shaking his head, but Ezra saw the way the other man tried to hide his amusement.

 

 

 

And his pleasure. Which meant that Buck did understand.

 

 

 

Ezra’s respect for him increased, though he suspected that like himself, Buck had lived enough of his life in the confines of saloon, bordellos, and other houses of ill repute to have seen the myriad varieties of love and lust that genteel society either ignored or hid behind their own curtains.

 

 

 

“Gonna get himself killed,” Chris snarled. “Damn Josiah – what is he thinking?”

 

 

 

Buck sat back down near the fire, stretching out his long legs. “Reckon we need to get some shut-eye,” he said easily, leaning back against his saddle. “You taking first watch?”

 

 

 

Chris was too wound up to sleep so Ezra covered his face with his hat again and tried to ignore the prowling, restless movements of the man who walked around the camp, stopping every so often to throw some wood on the banked fire. Ezra slept more or less, more so after Chris finally wound down and woke Buck for the second watch.

 

 

 

When Ezra’s own turn came, he found himself leaning against a tree and alternately looking into the night, listening for sound, and turning back to watch Chris Larabee toss and turn in his sleeping rig.

 

 

 

Dawn came slowly, clouds in the east giving the sun trouble. Buck woke first, which would have surprised Ezra had he not traveled with the man before. Without a lot of alcohol and a warm body next to him, Buck was a surprisingly early riser.

 

 

 

He was unusually quiet, too, something else that had surprised Ezra the first time he had noticed it. Ezra had already made a new pot of coffee, so Buck poured some for himself and sat for a time just sipping it, nodding at Ezra but not making noise.

 

 

 

Letting Chris sleep.

 

 

 

When Buck did get to his feet, he walked past Ezra and into the distance before stopping to do his morning necessaries. It was as he came back that he finally stopped to speak, his voice rusty from lack of use. “Reckon he’s gonna want to ride as soon as he’s up. You see any reason we need to move sooner rather than later?”

 

 

 

Ezra shook his head. “Seems that whatever trouble we left behind has not yet considered looking for us.”

 

 

 

“Which means they probably ain’t found Vin,” Buck said with a slight smile. “Not that I think they could. That boy’s too good.”

 

 

 

Ezra had to agree; for all of Chris’ worry, Vin Tanner was not going to be discovered unless he wanted to be. He was, literally, that good.

 

 

 

And he did have a vested interest in protecting himself. Because he had to protect Josiah.

 

 

 

While Ezra wanted to consider that to be a dangerous, foolhardy agenda, there was a part of him, a large part, that envied the other man. Not that Ezra himself had any designs on Josiah – heaven forfend! - but the idea of having someone to care for, to protect . . . to want to be with . . .

 

 

 

“Reckon if we ain’t in danger, best to let Chris sleep as long as he can. No matter what he says, he ain’t healed up yet.”

 

 

 

Ezra nodded, glancing over his shoulder to look at their leader. Chris had rolled onto one side, facing them, one arm stretched forward as if in supplication, the other curled up against him, as if in protection. He was still in shadow, the sun trapped behind the clouds, so the light that caught him was from the coals of the fire, bluish and pale, turning his fair skin to porcelain.

 

 

 

Like a statue of some Roman patrician, Ezra thought, recalling the descriptions he had read in books.. Or an early Christian martyr.

 

 

 

Neither thought was particularly welcome, so it was almost a relief when Buck’s next words drew his attention away. “Reckon we all got some deciding to do,” the tall man said, pushing his hands into his pockets and hunching a little, as if the morning were cold. It wasn’t, but perhaps, for Buck, fresh out of his blankets, it was chilly. “Now that she’s dead, Chris ain’t gonna have a driving purpose.”

 

 

 

Ezra frowned, confused at the thought – well, not as much that, he mentally corrected, as at the fact that Buck was stating it to him. “I should think that that would be a good thing,” he said carefully. “As you said, he will have more time and energy to heal.”

 

 

 

“It will give him too much time to think,” Buck said. “And to notice things – things he ain’t been paying much attention to these past few years.”

 

 

 

Ezra tilted his head to one side, considering how to answer this. Before he could find words, Buck leaned in a little closer and his voice dropped even lower. “Like who’s spending time with who.”

 

 

 

Ezra sighed, buying time with, “Surely he is well aware of your proclivities, Mr. Wilmington.”

 

 

 

Buck blinked then grinned, and when he answered, there was amusement layered through the rich tones of his voice. “Oh, he’ll turn his attention to me, no doubt. He always does when he’s bored, and he’ll have enough words on the subject, I promise you that. But he’s accustomed to me and my bad habits.”

 

 

 

So there it was, no real way around it, though Ezra didn’t want to be the one to make the first suggestion of it. Thus, in his traditional way, he hinted as vaguely as he could. “Are you suggesting that there are others among us with habits that have not yet caught his very sharp eyes?”

 

 

 

Buck shook his head but he was still grinning. “I’m saying that he hasn’t noticed some things because it ain’t part of his natural way of thinking. But now that he’s got nothing else to think on, I reckon he’ll start looking at things and thinking on the way others might see them.”

 

 

 

Ezra looked away, into the early lightening sky. For a few seconds, he wished desperately to hear the sound of horses or men’s voices, anything that would delay this conversation. But as with the rest of the night, all was quiet, not even a hint of birdsong to distract them. “You think he will frown upon the time Mr. Tanner is spending in pursuit of knowledge?”

 

 

 

Buck snorted. “Knowledge ain’t what Vin’s after – well, it ain’t all he’s after, and it ain’t all he’s getting, but no, I wasn’t talking about Vin and Josiah. I was talking about you.”

 

 

 

Despite himself, Ezra stiffened, and almost spoke. He managed, though, to get keep his mouth closed, so that his brain could try to reason through what Buck was implying.

 

 

 

Though his silence on the matter left ample time for Buck to go on, taking away any doubt that Ezra had.

 

 

 

“I ain’t a fool, Ezra. I’ve seen the way you look at him when you think no one’s watching. I also know how hard it was for you to stay in town after everything that happened at that ranch. When he said he was staying on with her, I knew you were already packing your bags.”

 

 

 

Ezra did get his mouth open this time, thinking to remind Buck that whatever he thought he saw in Ezra, it was just that – his thoughts. But once more, before he could speak, Buck went on.

 

 

 

“Thing is, though, don’t reckon it matters how you feel in and of itself – I mean, it’s good that you care for him, and I appreciate that more than you know – but he feels sort of the same for you. He’s gonna start thinking on that here soon enough, and it’s gonna make him a little crazy.”

 

 

 

Ezra stared at the other man. Part of his mind wondered if he had heard correctly. Part of him wondered if he were actually dreaming and had never awakened to take his shift.

 

 

 

Part of him wondered if Buck had lost his mind.

 

 

 

At which point, Buck chuckled, and Ezra realized that the other man was playing a joke on him. “Bastard,” he muttered, feeling the blood rise in his face, with anger and embarrassment. He turned to walk away, needing to get control of himself, but Buck reached out and dropped a hand on his shoulder.

 

 

 

“I ain’t kidding, Ezra,” he said quietly. “This ain’t a joke.” The hand on Ezra’s shoulder tightened a little more. “More than once, Chris has told me that there’d never be another woman, not after what happened with Sara and Adam. That’s why he ain’t taking up with Mary.”

 

 

 

Again, too many ways to answer. The one that was uppermost in his mind, though, was that just because Chris was scared of being with a woman again - at least as a commitment, as they all knew Chris had enjoyed the services of several professional women in the past few years – did not mean he was ready to take up with a man.

 

 

 

And the biggest contradiction, of course, was what had happened with Ella Gaines.

 

 

 

“Reckon he’s even more determined about that now, after this whole mess with Ella Gaines,” Buck said. “Though, to be fair, I don’t think he’d have been happy with her for long, even if she’d not been, you know, crazy. He wanted the dream of it, but he’d have gotten bored with her after a while.” He chuckled softly, then went on, “When I first met him, he was running from her – and I mean it, he was actually running. He’d snuck out in the middle of the night, ridden the rest of the night and part of the next day. When I came across him in a saloon, he was looking over his shoulder every three minutes or so. Made me think he was running from the law.” He chuckled again. “Have to admit, I didn’t believe him at first when he told me what he was doing, but I did know some stories about her and the trouble she’d caused. My ma would have called her a ‘gold digger’ and she’d taught me well to stay away from their like.”

 

 

 

Strangely, it was with this that Ezra finally found his tongue. “You had not pursued Ella Gaines, though you knew of her?” Given Buck’s habit of riding over a day away to court a woman he’d met in a far town, it seemed quite out of character that a woman such as Ella Gaines had not caught his attention.

 

 

 

Buck shrugged. “Might be hard to believe, Ezra, but I do know there are some women in this world, a rare few, that are dangerous. And she was one of ‘em. And after I got to know Chris, I knew all them stories about her were true. Of course, he and I carried on for a time, too, ‘til he met Sara.”

 

 

 

‘Carried on for a time.’ The phrase caught in Ezra’s head and he struggled to sort it out. The idea of Chris and Buck, enjoying the pleasures of the flesh together -

 

 

 

His breath caught in his throat, and he thought he might have moaned. An image burst into his mind’s eye, of the two men together, naked, in a bed, bare skin brushing against bare skin. It was a view of Chris, tousled hair, swollen lips, sleepy eyes, that captivated him.

 

 

 

“Hell,” Buck said, the tone of his voice sharp and biting – enough to draw Ezra instinctively out of his thoughts. He looked up at the other man’s face, then turned to follow his gaze. In the distance, he saw movement – not fast, but steady and large.

 

 

 

There was no time to think of anything but escape -which they did with a speed and precision born of practice. They cleared the camp, buried the fire and covered their tracks, moving parallel to the road but staying in the scrub to avoid creating the dust cloud that had alerted them to the oncoming posse. They rode hard for several hours, until they were confident that they were either far enough ahead to break or that they had lost the posse altogether.

 

 

 

They made it back to town without incident, though they didn’t dally. Ezra was so tired that he’d hardly had time to reconsider Buck’s words or the implications, though he had decided that he had misunderstood; Chris Larabee was not the type to break convention and enjoy the company of a man.

 

 

 

He slept for almost eighteen hours after they arrived in town, leaving his room finally because he was hungry. It was early afternoon when he made his way slowly down the stairs to find the main room of the saloon empty for the most part, though the detritus on tables let him know that there had been a number of people enjoying Inez’s lunch.

 

 

 

The table on the dais was empty, but he didn’t move to that one; he considered it to be the table from which he worked, a table that was not for enjoyment or relaxation. Instead, he moved to a table near the back, one that was close enough to the window to have light on it, but out of the traveled paths of the bar itself, off to one side.

 

 

 

He had just settled in, a beer in front of him and Darby, Inez’s daytime bartender off to fetch his food, when he heard a familiar stride along the boardwalk, the faint jingle of spurs growing louder until the doors of the saloon were pushed open. Ezra swallowed, hoping that the other man would go on.

 

 

 

Hoping that the other man would seek him out. He sighed at his own foolishness, then his stomach fluttered as the steps resumed, the jingling growing louder as the footsteps drew closer.

 

 

 

“Was wondering if I needed to find Nathan and send him to your room.” Without being invited, he pulled out a seat and sat down, drawing off his hat and dropping it onto the table beside him.

 

 

 

“Whyever for?” Ezra asked, finally looking to the other man. He was thankful that he’d had the forethought to speak before he’d looked. The sight of the man made his mouth go dry.

 

 

 

Like Ezra, Chris had had time to sleep, and to find the bathhouse. As usual when his hair was clean, it was light and bright, single threads catching in the spare breeze coming through the open windows. It caught the afternoon light, shades of gold and yellow sparkling against the darker browns underneath.

 

 

 

He was still tired and thin, his features sharp and pale, but his eyes were brighter than they had been in a long while.   


 

“Wasn’t sure if you were sick or if you’d run out on me again.”

 

 

 

The words brought him back to himself, stirring his anger. “I am well and I am still here – though I do not believe that the leaving at this point would qualify as ‘running out’. We and the town are currently out of danger and under no threat.”

 

 

 

“Vin and Josiah ain’t back yet,” Chris said flatly. “Until they’re back, we’re under threat.”

 

 

 

Arguments against that flashed through his mind, several landing on his tongue, but even has he considered them, he let them pass. This was not the battle to pick, and truth be told, it was a good enough excuse for remaining, at least for a while. He personally wasn’t certain that the other two men would return; in many respects, they had a perfectly new life, a life that allowed them to be together, though it was a life in disguises. At some point, Vin’s inherent honesty and Josiah’s inherent guilt would make them unhappy enough to leave, but for now . . .

 

 

 

Another thought for another time.

 

 

 

For now, he watched as the other man sat back. Darby had returned, bringing food for Ezra and a beer for Chris. As he served them, the conversation diverted for a few seconds, and as Darby left them, there was a moment of silence. Ezra concentrated on his food, not looking at the other man. He needed to be sharp and something about the way those bright eyes glittered at him, made him feel like prey. Buck’s words came back to him, and with them, the fear that Chris would see what Buck had seen.

 

 

 

He had just taken a bite of his lunch when Chris spoke.

 

 

 

“Reckon we’re all at a point where we got decisions to make.” His voice was low and even, carrying an edge of tension that made him sound a little like Vin. “It’s been a strange thing for me, not having the weight of her pressing on me. Think I’m going to ride back to the homestead for a time, clean it up a bit, clean up the graves. Buck’s gonna ride with me.”

 

 

 

The taste of the food – a flavorful enchilada of beans and vegetables – died on his tongue. He managed to swallow, and to take a sip of his beer, before saying, “So it is you who are running out on us.”

 

 

 

He didn’t have to look at the other man to know he was caught unawares by the statement. Chris jerked, bumping against the table and sloshing Ezra’s beer before saying, “What? No. I - we will be back. Not sure how long we’ll be gone but we’ll be back, probably in a week. Sooner if something happens and you need us. I just . . .” He stopped, taking in a deep breath then picking up his own beer and taking a drink.

 

 

 

Despite himself, despite his mother’s voice in his head telling him to take advantage of the other man’s obvious surprise and unease, Ezra looked at Chris.

 

 

 

He still looked vibrant and golden, energetic.

 

 

 

Ezra closed his eyes, trying to recall any other image. Any other idea of Chris. Of course the one that came to mind was from that morning, days ago, of Chris in the pale dawn light, sleeping.

 

 

 

“I just need time to say goodbye.” It was barely a whisper, so soft that Ezra wasn’t sure he actually heard it. He opened his eyes to find Chris staring into his empty beer mug, his hands wrapped so tightly around it that Ezra thought it might crack.

 

 

 

He drew in a breath, picking up his fork once more. He toyed with the food, no longer interested in it, but not sure what to say.

 

 

 

The moment was salvaged by the sudden and familiar sound of Buck walking into the saloon, his voice loud as he called out to Darby, ordering a beer for himself and, as he walked to their table, another one for both Chris and Ezra.

 

 

 

It was a relief to have him here.

 

 

 

Buck dropped into a chair, his long legs bumping the table. “Chris tell you our plan?” he said, reaching out to pat Ezra’s shoulder. “Think you and JD can manage things for a time? Know we’re spreading thin, but we ain’t that far away, and unlike old worrywart here, I reckon Vin can take care of Josiah better than any of the rest of us.”

 

 

 

Ezra drew in a breath, thankful that he didn’t have anything in his mouth. He cut his eyes to Buck, wondering if the man was trying to draw Chris’ attention to the situation between Vin and Josiah.

 

 

 

For his part, Buck was looking at Chris as if in wonder or question; Buck’s eyebrows, dark and long, were arched high on his forehead, giving the impression of innocence and ignorance.

 

 

 

Chris frowned, but didn’t say anything, as Darby had returned with the three beers.

 

 

 

After Buck declined the offer of lunch and Darby headed back to the bar, Ezra said, “I have informed Mr. Larabee that I will remain while the two of you are gone. If there is trouble – in the town or word of it from Vin – I will send for the two of you, one way or another.”

 

 

 

Buck nodded and grinned, raising his beer glass in a sort of toast before downing a goodly portion of it.

 

 

 

Ezra arched one eyebrow and went on, “But that promise is in play only until the two of you return. This employment, such as it is, was never my long-term plan.”

 

 

 

Buck continued to swallow though he stared at Ezra, his forehead furrowing in a frown.

 

 

 

It was Chris, though, who Ezra watched out of the corner of his eye. He was not drinking beer, though he was holding the glass in one hand. He frowned also, but there was something else in his face, something at the corners of his eyes and lips, something in the sound of his inhalation.

 

 

 

Something in the timber of his voice as he said, “You got somewhere else to be?”

 

 

 

Ezra shrugged, stalling by taking a forkful of food and chewing on it as he considered both his answer and the other tone in Chris’ voice. He had heard it before, but not usually in a conversation between the two of them. Where had he heard it before?

 

 

 

That search for the answer to that question played through his mind as he said, “Mother has some new business interest in San Francisco. She has made quite a tempting offer, to draw me to that fine city.”

 

 

 

“That what you want?” Chris asked, his voice still low. Beside him, Buck drew in a sharp breath and he stared at Ezra so hard that Ezra wondered is he would feel a fire in his brain.

 

 

 

It wasn’t, of course, but admitting it was not an option. “I want to be in a position where I am not living hand to mouth, sir. I want to be a position where I feel some security. I want to be in a position where I know that I am respected by the men with whom I work and - “

 

 

 

“Ezra.” It wasn’t the word so much as the way that it was said that stopped Ezra cold: soft, a little more than a whisper, yet heavy with pain and . . .

 

 

 

Ezra drew in a breath, staring across the table at Chris. He was staring back, his face pale and his eyes unusually wide.

 

 

 

“Reckon I’d best go check on JD,” Buck said, sounding tired. “He’s still put out that we didn’t take him with us – and us leaving again ain’t gonna make things better, though I reckon he’ll understand it better than some.”

 

 

 

Ezra registered the oblique criticism, but he didn’t address it. His mind was still sorting through what he had heard, what he now saw.

 

 

 

But as Buck pushed back his chair, drinking down the rest of his beer, Chris’ features shifted. It was very slight, and in the wake of it, Ezra wondered if he had really seen anything other than this expression, the detached, clinical face that the man wore more often than not.

 

 

 

It was as Chris lifted his own beer, drinking it down with speed, that Ezra knew he had lost the moment, lost the chance.

 

 

 

Buck’s words came back to him, the suggestion, improbable as it seemed, that at one time, they had been lovers.

 

 

 

That Chris would want that again – a male lover.

 

 

 

_Never play the long odds, Ezra_ , his mother’s voice tolled like a bell through his head.

 

 

 

But hadn’t he been doing that since he had allowed himself to stay in this town? Hadn’t he been doing that from the first moment he had lain eyes on Chris Larabee? Wasn’t that why his mother kept turning up, worried so about him?

 

 

 

Strangely, it was the thought of her, and her disapproval, that moved him to decision. As Chris rose, setting his glass on the table with a thud, Ezra said, “I will be here when you return.”

 

 

 

Buck had started away, his steps loud on the saloon’s wooden floor, loud enough that the slight misstep he had was noticeable. But he continued on, calling out a parting comment to the barman as he made his way to the door.

 

 

 

Chris, who had turned but not started walking, hesitated and looked down at Ezra. “Don’t want you to do it if you got better options somewhere else.” His tone was flat and his back stiff.

 

 

 

Ezra nodded but said, “There is no rush. I would not wish to leave before we know of Vin and Josiah’s safe return, and your own as well.”

 

 

 

Chris stood for a time, long enough for the Ezra to hear the batwing doors swoosh and Buck’s footsteps to recede into quiet. As he debated something else to say, the silence between them beginning to drown out even the low hum of other conversations and activities in the saloon, Chris finally sighed. The action loosened something in him, the stiffness easing though his body seemed hardly to move.

 

 

 

“I do respect you, Ezra,” he said quietly. “I’ll be glad to see you when I get back.”

 

 

 

The words were so unexpected – so far from what he had been expecting – that Chris was long gone before Ezra could even consider any response.

 

 

 

The rest of the day passed in his usual habit – which was good, as he paid little heed to it. His mind was preoccupied with the possibilities – and with the constant state of censoring himself for his optimism.

 

 

 

He knew better, he reminded himself over and over. It was never this easy. It was never this possible.

 

 

 

But as the afternoon rolled into evening and he was playing cards with a group of men who were passing through, he became aware of eyes upon him, and turned to find that Chris and Buck were sitting at the table in the back corner where Chris usually sat. Josiah and Nathan were there as well, and JD was moving about, at the bar at the moment.

 

 

 

The words today, they had been extraordinary. They had been a promise.

 

 

 

But this, the presence of these men behind him, the fact that Chris was watching him, these actions put paid to the promise in the words.

 

 

 

He would be here, whenever Chris returned. And he would be here as long as Chris wanted him to be.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> My thanks to all three of the wonderful people who contributed prompts to this set of stories! All mistakes are my own. The last one is in the works . . .


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